Idea for Alissa Walker:

"Berang" (berang) 01/26/2016 at 22:22 • Filed to: roads

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We all know that widening highways doesn’t work well for reducing traffic. This is because cars take up far more space length-wise than width-wise. So...

I propose this: All new cars should be twice as wide, and half as long. You can then fit twice as many cars on a given mile of road. We can’t make the roads longer, but we can make them wider, and if we make the cars shorter, we can fit a lot more on the roads.

Genius. I just saved America.

Chariotoflove > Berang 01/26/2016 at 22:27

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Berang for President.

scoob > Berang 01/26/2016 at 22:29

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TheHondaBro > Chariotoflove 01/26/2016 at 22:31

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Berang 2020

Make America Wide Again

TheHondaBro > scoob 01/26/2016 at 22:31

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That thing would be a blast to spin around in... Literally.

scoob > TheHondaBro 01/26/2016 at 22:34

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America/Americans already is/are wide.

scoob > Berang 01/26/2016 at 22:35

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Obligatory Alissa Walker reply:

Or how about we just ban cars.

TheHondaBro > scoob 01/26/2016 at 22:35

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Is that a fat joke?

For shame, Mr. Scoob. FOR SHAME.

Chariotoflove > scoob 01/26/2016 at 22:36

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Midget Lambo?

Berang > scoob 01/26/2016 at 22:36

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Well what are all my new super wide highways going to be good for then?

scoob > Chariotoflove 01/26/2016 at 22:36

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Precisely.

scoob > TheHondaBro 01/26/2016 at 22:37

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Dr. Scoob*

TheHondaBro > scoob 01/26/2016 at 22:37

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FOR SHAME.

Spridget > Berang 01/26/2016 at 22:38

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Bicycle trails and organic kale transport routes, of course.

Chariotoflove > scoob 01/26/2016 at 22:38

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10/10 would daily.

Berang > Spridget 01/26/2016 at 22:40

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I demand wider bicycles then.

scoob > Berang 01/26/2016 at 22:40

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Trains and buses and planes and boats

Berang > scoob 01/26/2016 at 22:41

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Well when you put it that way it sounds kind of cool.

Spridget > Berang 01/26/2016 at 22:45

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Well, that’ll be somewhat off balance, so we’ll have to add one or two extra wheels. Because of the extra weight from the wheels, we’ll have to add a motor to propel it. We’ll also need more advanced brakes, and why we’re at it, we may as well attach some springs to the wheels to cushion the ride. You know, these four wheeled bicycles are really a brilliant idea. I don’t know why someone hasn’t thought of it before.

Berang > Spridget 01/26/2016 at 22:48

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People are already fighting to ban quadricycles though:

http://www.cleveland.com/roadrant/index…

Birddog > Berang 01/26/2016 at 23:11

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Holy Christmas. Don’t give her ideas..

Spridget > Berang 01/26/2016 at 23:29

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But, theoretically speaking, I could put three wheels on it, making it a tricycle and not a quadricycle! And if they moved to ban tricycles, I would argue that they would have to ban all tricycles too, therefore meaning that millions of children would never learn to ride a bike or be interested in pedal power, making the ban on cars unfeasble! Mwah haha! Loopholes, bitches! Suck it, car banning government! I’ve foiled your sceme again!

Berang > Birddog 01/26/2016 at 23:55

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Yeah, but this one is entirely logical.

RallyWrench > Berang 01/27/2016 at 00:25

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Pontiac was on to something with the “Wide Track” campaign after all! They were doing nothing less than saving our nation, and a callous General killed them for it. It's a conspiracy, man!

wiffleballtony > Berang 01/27/2016 at 10:40

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Every single one of her posts makes me angry.